that ring of confidence

I'm nearly done these beer shots so it might be time to get back into school

Taking a look at any random month over the past year or so and you'll find entries like this one [jks] where I'm looking for work.  It has become the new looking for a girlfriend in the dramatic narrative that is my life, and like my pre-Lydia attempts at finding love my job hunt has resulted largely in disapointment and nights spent surfing the internet looking for porn... I mean jobs.

A bit over a month ago I felt like I'd finally gotten into a good position in the hunt.  I'd an interview with a local company looking for a technical writer, I had an interview lined up for a sales position with the new Apple Store and I had an interview lined up with the comic book store I shop at.  The Apple Store and the technical writing job were both oppertunities that I considered to be career stepping stones; positions that would lead to bigger and better things.  The comic book store seemed like it would be fun, and a way to help make some extra money to help pay for the wedding.

I got a part time job at the comic book store, which was not the full time position I'd hoped for but was a promising start.  The techincal writing job did not pan out, and the Apple Store turned me down after bringing me in for a group interview where they did not actually interview us but spent the entire time telling us why we should work for Apple.  By the end of the interview I'd gone from really wanting to work at the new store to really really wanting to work at the new store.  Sadly there was something in the way I watched the promotional video that informed them they did not want me.

Some days I just wish I were a sea otter

IMG_4207

It's been one of those weeks where being a sea otter would probably have been a lot cooler than being me.  I started off the week with an interview with a company that I've wanted to work for nearly my entire life and ended it not only not getting one of the 100+ jobs on offer, but also barely holding onto the job that I've got now.  Top that off with the fact that Lydia is gone for the next two weeks to Ontario, and things are certainly not coming up Me.

In a measured attempt not to get myself into any more trouble, or burn bridges or do anything silly, I'm keeping mum on things for a bit but I'll be offering some explanation soon.  Until then I can just wish that I were a sea otter, because let's face it that's gotta be a pretty sweet life.

Originally posted on jazzlawyer.vox.com

Money and the lack of money

That's right, I'm going to be on Robson Street in a Mexican wrestling mask challenging people to arm wrestle for money this summer the way things are going.  Between the pay-cut at work, and the upcoming wedding I'm quite a bit poor.  My second job at the comic book store [jks] has yet to start, and I'm pretty much broke.  You know the sort of broke that when I reach into my wallet a moth flies out and tries to eat the shirt off of my back.

It's time to start living frugally, which means that driving is a luxury and public transit is my new pimped out ride.  It means that an eight pound bag of rice is my new lunch, dinner and desert while breakfast is an old box of Safeway house brand Grain Os' that I've been trying to eat.  That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but certainly I'm no longer eating at the food court while at work, and certainly not drinking Starbucks on a regular basis.  I'm even thinking of cancelling cable, and if it had not been for the return of The Office this week I would probably have been making the phone call very soon.

Meanwhile if any of you have a free weekend it would be most appreciated if you spent those free days sitting at your computer and clicking on my Google ads.

From film to digital: concert photography

I was taking pictures at the Bell X1 show that we went to at The Plaza last week [mbv], and I realized that it was the first time that I had been at a show with the powers of an official photographer since I've switched from film to digital.  Which says a lot both about how long it's gone since I've had a photographer's pass, and also how quickly the world has moved from film to digital.

I used to feel bad about how many photographic fuck ups I made while covering concerts, until I saw some professional photographers running through an easy dozen rolls of films per song.  The fact that I spent $50 on film and development might have hurt my wallet, but seeing what the rest of them use the fact that I could get a few great shots from that was a nice ego boost.

For the Bell X1 show I ran through about 500 shots easy, most of which spent about five minutes in iPhoto before getting deleted.  The bulk of those were either out of focus, blurry or just plain terrible.  Then I ran through those that were left and cut them down to just the best ones, the ones that if I had a page to fill I'd be happy using and those were the ones that made it to Flickr [fkr], which according ot Lydia was way too many.

The one legacy I have from the film era is a few photo albums of pictures in storage that need scanning in, so that I can get them onto Flickr.

Edit:  The first two pictures in the slide show above are actually from my film camera and were scanned in.  The rest were from various digital cameras including my two Canon Rebels, various cell phones and other smaller digital cameras.

I got a new job, sort of

Elfsar Collection
Originally uploaded by JNadiger.

If you've been reading the last few months you know that I've been looking for a new job the last few months.  Recently I've made progress on three jobs that I really was excited for, and I felt that I was in a good position to actually snare at least one of those.  In fact in my feverish dreams I was imagining a scenario where I had to choose between three great jobs.

Feverish dreams are best left to revenge and doubt.

After two interviews which I felt went really strongly I'm left with one offer of a part time job, one job where I haven't heard back despite assurances that the hiring was going to be done extremely quickly and one interview still looming in April. 

Though it was not quite the ideal situation I did take the offer of a part time job at Elfsar [es] a comic book store in Yaletown where I get my books every week.  It's a great store, and the pay is actually better than you're thinking it is right now in your mind.  Yes that number you're thinking, it's better than that.  The trouble is at part time I'm still staying with my current job, and the hourly part time rate is less than the full time rate.

Still with comic books the bulk of my monthly entertainment expenses the generous staff discount will be quite a savings.  Further the extra money is going to be handy what with the big wedding expenses looming down the road like a Jack Kirby Celestial [wp].  I always enjoyed my shifts at the Capitol Theatre in Westbank which I did while at university while working at the paper and Pacific Cellular.  It was not exactly a rest, but it was a nice reminder that work can be fun.  Hopefully Elfsar is a similar boost.

Plus hey, I've never had a real job where I can wear jeans and a t-shirt.  That'll some kind of wonderful.

The epic poem of my life

I'm trying very hard to come up with something to blog at this point.  Following the Mr. Rawson school of forced free writing never ends up with anything readable, and certainly nothing that you want to submit to a(n) (potential) audiance of millions.  In fact during the ten minutes of free writing every class I tended to just fill my workbook with the phrase, "I am free.  I am being forced to write."  It was meant to be ironic, in that way that we can achieve irony at 17.

I suppose to make this a better blog I need some drama or adventure in my life.  Another trip, for example, to compete with last year's travel to Europe.  Something quite facinating and new so I can dazzle you with photographs and tales of eating weird food in dodgey resturants.  Instead I have pictures of the inside of the Skytrain, as I commute to and from Metrotown every day.

Which is not to say that life is boring, or dull.  I watched Bee Movie last night and it was pretty good.  However the fact that you're reading about me watching Bee Movie is a sign that perhaps I'm not leading the sort of heroic life that is worthy of great study.  Perhaps I should join Jason and search after the Golden Fleece [wp].  I'm sure such a journey would provide many chances for good pictures and many meals of weird food in dodgey resturants.  At the very least Mysia should be interesting.

Photo credit

• Photo by: Jeffery Simpson
• What: Arc de Triomphe, Paris France
• Date Taken: May 15th, 2007
• Camera: Sony Ericsson K790i

I've got jobs on the brain and lions in the oven

Skytrain
Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson.

I've been a despairing about finding a few job for the last few months, and it's been a real dry spell for work in that regard. With websites like Monster it sometimes feels as if I'm just submitting my resume was the equivalent of throwing a coin down a well and wishing for a job. I knew it was out there, but if you're not physically handing it to anyone you're never sure if anybody is actually looking at it. The few bites I did get always turned out to be companies like Primerica which were pavement pounding sales jobs. If I wanted to be doing sales I'd be staying where I am now.

Recently though things have picked up, so much so that I'm no longer looking at theatre management as a serious career option. Indeed I'm actually looking at jobs that I'd really enjoy. I am wary of jinxing anything by talking about it too early, but I had a really good interview today with Seon Design Inc. [sd] for a media coordinator type job. They make surveillance systems for trains, buses and elevators and I'd be doing their advertising copy, helping set up for a few trade show style events and doing press releases.

I'm almost worried about a wealth of choice, having to pick between three different options. I'm also worried about winning the 6/49 and how that might change me as a person. Would I still be the sweet and caring person I am now if I had enough money to buy a solid gold statue in my own honour? These questions plague my dreams, though admittedly they're much more pleasant nightmares than the one about the chalk outline lion that comes from the oven to eat me. I understand the words "chalk outline lion" might confuse you, do not worry it is for the best that you do not go too deep into my inner mind's working.

All that is left to say is, "Wish me luck." I for one will be keeping my toes cross until such time as they become numb from lack of blood flow and begin to get gangrene.

Two job prospects

Nothing much to report, and so this is a quick post. However I've got two job prospects on the go, both of which are to the actually speaking with someone who is flesh and blood and not a computerized resume sorter stage. All of which is a positive sign, and hopefully I'll get to the "Hey do you want a job" stage at one of the two jobs.

I'm heading to Seattle with Lydia for her birthday for the next few days. I'm not taking my laptop, so blogging if it's done at all will be via my iPhone. Take care of yourselves you crazy kids.

This picture does not match the text

IMG_0919.jpg
Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson.

I did not start the day with a headache, and yet now it feels as if someone has just walked up to me and hit me right between the eyes with a hammer. I'm not prone to stress headaches, so I'm not particularly sure where it's come from but it's making me feel physically ill.

Can't I go a week without being sick and wanting to vomit?

I need a week's vacation where I spend the entire time within about ten kilometres from my apartment. No driving, no chores, nothing but the simplest shopping for groceries and comic books. I am getting a bit of a vacation, a three day weekend that's running from Mondaythrough Wednesday for Lydia's birthday trip to Seattle. Seattle is hardly relaxing though, its stressful to drive around, find parking and make sure everything is going okay.

My next holiday is going to be Chez Moi. It's going to be fucking wonderful.

Edit: I should point out that I do enjoy travel trips, and that this trip to Seattle is going to be really fun.  I like Seattle, and going with Lydia means that it's sure to be a good time.  It's just not a relaxing good time.

Thought I was going to get fired today

IMG_2540
Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson.

Going into work today I was pretty sure I was going to get fired. I figured I'd be in the store for about half an hour, and then head out after having cleaned out my desk. By desk I mean the drawer in the back that I keep two pairs of shoes and a tie in. By cleaned out I mean I'd have put my two pairs of shoes in a bag and stuffed my tie into one of my jacket pockets. It was both scary, since I have no money saved and no immediate employment options, and liberating.

It was a poor mystery shop score that had put the fear into me. I've had a few poor ones, and recently another rep was put on notice after a poor one. That rep has some of the best sales numbers in the company, and the rumor around the store is that any of us mere mortals had fucked up that bad we'd be gone. My numbers have never been best in the company level, and so I figured that was it I was gone. Now in my defense I always do well on the parts of the mystery shop that I feel should matter most, the bits where the customer says they like me, that I respected them, that I helped them and that they would in fact buy a cell phone from me, let me marry their daughter (or son) and would be happy to have me as their children's Godfather. What I always manage to fuck up is the bit where I use salesperson voodoo on them to close the sale.

In the business we don't call it voodoo, since witchcraft is generally frowned upon in retail settings, but rather "closing". Below is a little video about it, presented by Alec Baldwin in a manner far more dramatic than the tale I got when I got to work. The story ends with me not getting fired, which is a good thing. It lacks the life changing implications, but gets points for allowing me to eat food and not starve.

Another call

Oddly enough on Wednesday morning I got a call from yet another Primerica representative trying to hire me.  I don't know where this one got my name and telephone number, probably from my Monster resume, but it was a bit unnerving considering that I had just blogged about them. 

Is it like Scientology? 

Have I crossed them and now they're out to destroy me?

When my only job offer is Primerica I know something's gone wrong

If it feels like all I blog about anymore is my ongoing job hunt rest assured that it feels that way to me too.  I've essentially got two things to sort out, sorting out the whole OUC/UBC mess so that I can grab my last few credits to graduate from university and finding a new job.  I've been hoping to be able to structure my brief return to university around a new job, so I'm wanting to get a job first.  It's far easier to just pick up courses around a job than it is to find a job with the stipulation that I can not work during my courses.

Or that's the theory.  Either way the job finding is not going anywhere. 

As if to rub salt in the wounds fate threw a Primerica representative at me at work today.  I was helping a fellow look at PDA style phones and I had the sense that something was a bit off but it didn't occur to me what it was until later.  I'm not going to open this blog up to the sort of flame wars over whether or not Primerica is a scam, but when you're in any sort of job and you're half-ways friendly to a Primerica employee they will try to hire you.  So when trying to sell them something they're sizing you up because they know that they'll be trying to sell you something in a little bit. 

Back in Kelowna at the cellular store all of the employees were regularly approached by Primerica types.  As a multi-level-marketing type deal every representative another representative recruits means that they get a part of that new recruit's profits and that works its way up the ladder.  So like the Borg, vampires or zombies each person who pays their $200 and completes the four day training session is unleashed on the world to make new Primerica reps.  Getting a job interview with Primerica is about as easy as clapping your hands.

Which in and of itself does not make the job a bad one, but the fact is that it's a high pressure sales job.  Yes the numbers that they show about how much people could make are real, if you sold enough hundreds of thousands of dollars a year is an attainable goal.  The same goes for the job I have, if I sold enough cell phones I'd make a million dollars a year. 

Enough about Primerica.  I have to remain confident that something will break for me eventually.  For now though I'm seriously thinking about applying at the Starbucks in the hotel across the street from my apartment.  Not only would it be a very nice commute, I'd get a discount on the ice tea lemonades.

The job search shuffle

Isaac one of the company's corporate sales representatives stopped by the store today and asked if I was having any luck with the job search. I suppose one of the side effects of blogging about the job search is that it's not exactly a secret that I'm wanting to find other work. The trouble is that I'm actually trying to be sort of picky, which means that I'm not just applying to every job that comes along but rather better jobs. Jobs that I could see myself making a career out of, basing a life around. Jobs that I'd be proud of admitting having to when meeting new people, rather than having to do a grimace and head-bob move that I've been using the last few years.

"Yes I know I'm nearly 30 and working the same job I had when I was just out of high school," the move suggests, apologizing on my behalf, "I wish it were more interesting but we can't all do something nebulous and call it being a consultant."

Still even though I'm being selective the lack of any progress is getting depressing. The furthest that I've progressed is a group interview with Flight Centre, a job that in the long run I'm glad that I did not get anyway since it would have largely been more of the same thing that I'm doing. Meanwhile I've applied for reporting jobs, editing jobs and human shield work that I feel that I'm qualified for and yet there's not been a nibble.

My latest iron in the fire is a position as the Entertainment Editor of The Daily Courier in Kelowna, a job that I feel is tailor made for me. A job where I have a foot in the door since I have a weekly column at the paper's arts supplement eVent! magazine [evm]. Yet the posting I found online is gone, and once again despair overtakes me as I see another job slipping away.

Apple, who tried hiring two of my references the first time I applied, have called Sean for a job as a personal shopper but I haven't heard anything. That I told Sean that the Apple Store was opening and that they had job postings up on his site says a lot about how even with good karma on my side I'm not having any success. Perhaps blogging about the job openings on Metroblogging Vancouver, thus alerting most of Vancouver to them, was not a hot idea.

Now I spend my lunch sitting fifty yards from work, having a London Fog and applying for jobs online. The Jeff Gaulin Job Board [jg] has become both a constant friend and enemy as it taunts me with jobs that I want but apparently am destined not to have. I collect newspaper clippings from people who have seen jobs that sound perfect, but they were like that period of my life when I decided that I was going to marry Kitty Pryde from the X-Men [jks] it looked good on paper but was just a dream.

Also side note, isn't it fucking amazing that I got a girlfriend? Let's all give a cheer for Lydia putting up with me and my nerd-self.

Now my lunch is over. I'm posting this and adjusting my tie. If I'm lucky I'll have time to expel my London Fog in the bathroom and return to the sales floor.

Cutting costs sometimes cuts customers

Found this thanks to Daring Fireball [df]. 

The issue of well trained, and thus better paid, professional sales people versus paying people minimum wage is one I'm quite familiar with.  It's kind of heart warming to see that at least one company has been bitten by the dumbing down of sales.

This is taken from Beat the Press Archive [btpa]:

The basic story is that last March, the wise men who run Circuit City came up with the brilliant idea of laying off their more senior salespeople, who get $14-$15 an hour, and replacing them with new hires who get around $9 an hour. It turns out that this move was not very good for business. One of the reasons that people go to a store like Circuit City, rather than buying things on the Internet, is that they want to be able to talk to a knowledgeable salesperson. Since Circuit City had laid off their knowledgeable salespeople, there was little reason to shop there.

Apparently Circuit City came to this same conclusion earlier this fall and tried to hire back some of the people it had dumped. In any case, things have not gone well for the bottom line. The company is now losing money and its share price is down more than 75 percent from its value earlier this year.

It's Boxing Day and we're not offering any sales

Boxing Day brings Boxing Day Sales, which means that the mall is open two hours earlier than it is any other day of the year.  Stores like Lululemon and Zara have had lines out their door for their sales, which mostly consist of things that were already old stock and on sale but they've just taken another 10% off, but we don't have anything on sale so we're pretty much sitting here.  We're trying to invent a game to play with a rubber ball about the size of a tennis ball, so far it's a combination of soccer and basketball.

Christmas was good, I got some swell stuff including The Complete Calvin & Hobbes collection (pictured above), and there were no tears this year which is a nice change.  I'm so full of turkey I probably won't need to eat another meal until well into 2008.  I've made a Flickr set with my photos of the day [fkr], so if you want to pretend you had Christmas with us you can do that virtually. 

The Great LG Shine Caper

Yesterday I had a phone stolen from me at work.  During the holidays theft goes up quite a bit and we're constantly being reminded that each and every customer is a possible master thief waiting to pounce.  That's sort of overstating it, but yesterday I was tricked by a sticky fingered slight of hand artist.  Either that or I'm just thick.

The short of the long of it is that the customer's debit card would not swipe and when he went to go to a nearby cash machine he palmed the phone without me noticing and took off.  Seeing the video it was clear that a) I need to lose weight and b) he was planning on taking the phone when he walked in.  The odd thing was his identification he used for the credit check seemed real, and so if anyone knows an Aldwin Plan either he's got one of my store's phones and is a dirty thief, or someone has swiped his driver's licence and BC ID card and is stealing phones under his name.

Interviews, holidays and working until 11

It's December, which means it's the end of the year sales push, both because the Christmas season is a big part of our sales, but also because December is the last chance that we get to meet our yearly sales quotas.  After not reaching the highest commission bracket for the last few months I'm under extra pressure to do well, if only to pay my own bills.  Everyone at the store is working six days a week for most of December, so it sort of feels like I'm living in the store and sleeping on the SkyTrain.

Meanwhile the job hunt is still going on.  On Tuesday I had step three of the multi-step interview process with Flight Centre.  This was a group interview, so it was about an hour and a half with myself and two others applying for a sales position with the travel agency.  I felt that both it and the telephone interview went exceptionally well, but today I heard back from them that they weren't interested either in hiring me or having me do more interviews.  So all my dreams of cheap travel and wearing a smart blue shirt with red lettering are dashed.

In a way it was sort of a blessing though.  I think the Flight Centre job would have been a nice change from cellular, but really it would have been doing the same work just selling different coloured widgets.  I like travel well enough, but unlike say working at the Apple Store [mbv] it's not really something I'm incredibly passionate about.  I was worried that I'd be offered the Flight Centre job, since again I feel I did amazing and with nearly a decade of commision sales experiance I've got a good background, before I had a chance of hearing from some of the jobs I really wanted.  Specifically the newspaper job in Chilliwack.

On the topic of working today is my first in a run of shifts that go from 3pm to 11pm.  So far actually I'm liking it more than 1pm - 9pm, since it means less time with too many staff on the sales floor, and it feels like I can accomplish a lot more before work than I can when I work at 1.  Still this run of shifts goes almost until Christmas Day, so I'm pretty much going to be out of contact until then. 

I'm pants at job hunting

I am totally rubbish at finding a job.  Other people seem to be able to do it with very little difficulty, but nearly six months on and I'm still working on resumes and haunting the cyber halls of Monster.  I will admit I'm being a bit pickier than I could be, because since I'm so crap at this I'd rather not need to do it again soon.  That's why I'm only trying for jobs that I really would like to have such as at the soon to be opened Apple Store in Pacific Centre [mbv], or the reporter/photographer job at the Chilliwack Times [ct] that I applied for yesterday.  (I built an on-line photography portfolio for that job that you can browse here [fkr]).

So I've decided to draw up a few rules for the sort of job that I'm looking to take, just so I don't end up doing this macabre dance in six months. 

1) I have to like the job.  I guess this seems like a luxury, but most of us spend so much time at work that the fact that we generally don't like our jobs is insane.  Life's too short to be doing something that I hate any longer than I need to be.  I mean it doesn't need to be as fun as a trip to EuroDisney, but I don't want to be going home ready to hide under my bed crying.

2) I want the possibility for advancement.  This is one of the reasons I've been focusing on larger companies  during this job search, because there's more chance for things like raises, promotions and rewards for long term service and good work.  I've been with the same company for nearly a decade and the people hired this month are paid the same as me, get as much control over their hours as I do and there's pretty much nowhere for me to advance.  To the company the only difference between me and new hires is that the new hires are younger and more attractive.

3) I'd like to be able to be creative.  Granted if I get a sales job this isn't going to be much of a possibility, but when I was talking to Rob Butz who I used to work with at the Phoenix I realized that my years with the paper were probably the best I've ever had.  Being able to do something like that, something that manages to use at least part of my creative side, would be wonderful.

4) I'd like to have a job that includes travel.  This is sort of an outside shot thing, but I like travelling for work.  I used to really dig the weeks I'd have to go to Toronto for Campus Plus meetings and would actually really like something were I got the chance to travel.  Maybe having to spend two weeks a month in Peace River might blow, but some travel would be hot.

5) Working somewhere where they respect me would be wonderful.  Really so much can be ignored if I have the feeling that I'm needed and an important part of the team.  Feeling like you're just a cog in the machine, and as easily replaced as a three dollar mop, is incredibly demoralizing.  Things like money and hours can be ignored if there's a sense that my contribution is important and that I'm doing a good job. 

In the tall grass of the job hunt

I've been on the hunt for a job for some time now, almost six months.  Truthfully I've not been sending out resumes everyday, but rather focusing on certain jobs that I'd really like to have.  Still I'm starting to get a bit antsy, and today I sent out another batch of resumes.  Looking for work though is an incredibly soul crushing undertaking similar to trying to get oneself a girlfriend and for this Craigslist just doesn't seem to be helping out [jks].  It would be bad enough if I'd get into the interview process and fail, but I'm not even getting calls.  As far as I know my email is going right into the recycling bin at corporate headquarters.

Does anyone have an job hunting advice?  Anything that maybe is so simple that I've overlooked, or so secret and hidden that I'd never have thought of it on my own?  I've uploaded a PDF file of my resume that I did up for one of my job applications, this was for Bioware in Edmonton, so you can judge my resume ability.  Clearly it's video game heavy given that Bioware's a video game company.  I do reformat and refocus resumes to suit particular employers, so I'm not a complete fool.

Right now inside the Keebler Cookie Company:

Why is this Jeffery Simpson listing all the video games he plays?  He hasn't mentioned enjoying chocolate chip cookies once, nor has he mentioned being able to work well with mythical elves as part of our baking process.  Kevin make sure we do not call this person, he's clearly not interested in either cookies or elves.

Well okay, me being a complete fool, that's debatable.

Download biowaremarketing.pdf

Down by The Bay

photo.jpg
Originally uploaded by Jeffery Simpson.

It's one of those ideas that for some reason look good on paper to management but everyone else can see it's a disaster three minutes into the explanation. For the holiday season the company has decided that we should erect a table in the mensware department of The Bay in the mall and try to sell phones from it. We're to sit here and sell phones to people who could just as easily, and more logically, go to one of the half dozen cell phone stores in the mall (including ours where I could be working, selling things and making the comission I need to pay rent and buy food).

It's not quite the disaster I first dreamed of when I heard the idea. Logistically everything seems sound, we've got a computer with net access and a decent point of sale terminal. That part, the actual selling of phones bit, seems to work fine. Seems to, since it's not like we've sold a phone from here all day.

So far I've explained that I don't work at the Bay so I can't answer questions about pant sizing four times, pointed at the escalators three times and told customers to see the customer service desk to see if the Bay is hiring twice.

I have spoken to one man about cell phones, he wanted to ensure that I knew that he had never owned a cellular phone and never would. Another man wanted the $100 Bay gift card we're offering, but didn't want anything to do with getting a phone either. He just kept insisting that since we were advertising it we had to give it to him for free.

The good news is in December I get to do this instead of having one of my days off each week. It's pretty magically delicious.